sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
