She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize