he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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