the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
