He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
