she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
