am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
