Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
