woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
