Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize