the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
