I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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