Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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