He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
