My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
