HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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