Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize