Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
