And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
