if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
