Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize