i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
