ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
