he wants to bone in the snuggie
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
