I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
