I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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