God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
