Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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