his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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