god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
