Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
