ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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