ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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