On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
