you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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