Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
