Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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