do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
