so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
