I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
