Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
