yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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