She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
