come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
