He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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