i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
