There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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