Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
