walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
