Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hippo gnu deer
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
