I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
