At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
