Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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