My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
