i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
