i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
