if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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